6. Tom Hanks – Urination
Easily one of (if not the most) beloved actors of a generation, Tom Hanks has made his mark on Hollywood in a big way. With countless iconic roles spanning an impressive career of four decades, Hanks also has two Academy Awards, 7 Emmys, a Tony and a BAFTA to his name.
He also can’t stop peeing in his movies.
In Forrest Gump, Hanks tells JFK that he’s got to go (while physically clutching himself). In A League of Their Own, he lets out an uncomfortably long stream. In The Green Mile, Hanks’ inability to urinate painlessly is a major plot point. In The ‘Burbs, he pretends he needs to go in order to sneak around his neighbours’ house. In Road to Perdition, he escapes a hit-man by taking a leak at just the right time. The Money Pit involves a literal p*ssing contest with a statue. Apollo 13 and Castaway both go to unnecessary lengths to detail exactly how a man would go about urinating in space or on a desert island respectively.
…satisfied yet? ‘Cause apparently, Hanks isn’t.
There’s also a scene in The Terminal where his character desperately needs a whiz, and a delightful anecdote in Saving Private Ryan about a childhood friend who used to spray Vs of urine onto everyone’s jackets.
I think that’s all the examples I can muster right now, but rest assured, Hanks has a lot more in the tank.
(I think that’s my yearly quota for pee jokes all sorted.)
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