6. Marion Cobretti
Maybe it’s too easy to rag on Marion Cobretti for his name. Maybe picking on a man with a name that’s traditionally for women is just low-hanging fruit. Maybe we’re above that. Then again, maybe we’re not.
Of course, a man named Marion is an irregularity and might be worth a tiny, breathy snort of laughter, but it’s the context that makes this one funny. Played by Sylvester Stallone in the 1986 action film Cobra, Marion Cobretti is an LAPD Lieutenant, better known by his codename “Cobra”. It’s in this characterization that the sheer ridiculousness of the name truly lies.
The macho killing machine played by Stallone is not a comedic figure. Cobra is not a film known for its levity (or for its subtlety), and there’s something distinctly hilarious about naming an ’80s action hero played by someone as jacked as Stallone “Marion”. Maybe it’s cheap to wring laughs out this one, but that doesn’t make it any less bizarre.