7. Beatrix Kiddo
Technically, one crazy fan theory (perpetuated by Quentin Tarantino himself) places Kill Bill as a movie-within-a-movie, so the ridiculousness of this entry is offset slightly by Tarantino’s own eccentricity. However, its protagonist, most commonly referred to as “the Bride”, is one of cinema’s most well-known killing machines. Over her short two-film story, she embarks upon a martial-arts fueled quest for revenge that sees her claim many lives, and it’s fairly late in the game that her true name is revealed to be Beatrix Kiddo.
Breaking it down, Beatrix is a name most associated with a beloved British children’s author, and it’s decidedly old-fashioned. The Kiddo part sounds more like a nickname than a genuine surname – possibly because it was actually the character’s nickname given to her by the titular Bill. That makes the reveal of the Bride’s true name feel somewhat cheap, as though it’s a punchline rather than an actual identity.
Beatrix Kiddo just isn’t a name that suits a Bruce-Lee-tracksuit-wearing, sword-wielding killing machine. After being known as “the Bride” – which is a totally kick-ass moniker – Beatrix Kiddo feels like a strange choice for the character’s true identity. She sounds more likely to join The Wiggles than she does to leave a trail of bodies in her wake, and that’s ultimately what makes the name seem so ridiculous.